It was the 27th of August and I found myself back with two old friends Tosin and Bafewa. We had gathered for Bafewa’s wedding, and I was the MC while Tosin held it down as the DJ. It felt like a full circle moment. I had known both of them since our days in Lagos, and here we were again, each of us carrying new titles, new roles, new identities.
Tosin is now a father of two, but in the last decade he has worn many hats actor featured on Netflix, on air personality, master of ceremony, DJ, fiancé, husband and now dad. Bafewa, whom I first met as a law student at the University of Lagos, has also gone through many transitions from lawyer to musician, model, business analyst and now a husband. Looking at both of them that day reminded me of one simple truth: none of us are who we used to be.
Life is a continuous journey of becoming. At one point we are sons, daughters, students or friends. Then in another season, we are partners, parents, leaders or creators. Each role we step into is not the end but part of an unfolding process. As Douglas MacArthur once said, “Life is a lively process of becoming.”
The same person evolves into different versions of themselves across time. A daughter becomes a wife, a wife becomes a mother, a mother becomes an executive, and one day, a grandmother. Each transition carries its own lessons, its own tests of courage, resilience and strength.
And just like our personal growth, our style evolves with us. Fashion is not static. What we wear is a mirror of our inner journey. Every season of becoming changes how we express ourselves outwardly. Clothes are more than fabric they are statements of who we are in each stage of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson captured it beautifully: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Becoming is not about losing yourself, but uncovering your truest self and daring to step into it. It is about shedding old skins, embracing change and trusting that every challenge along the way is shaping you into something greater.
I know this personally. In 2022, I went through a major transformation that required me to let go of the identity I had long carried as a comedian. Deep down, I felt a pull to lead and to serve others through my experiences, but stepping into that new self meant leaving behind what was familiar. What I feared was not the future, but letting go of the comfort of the past.
That is the tension of becoming it is both terrifying and liberating. But when we embrace it, we begin to see that our best is always ahead of us, never behind.
Here are some markers that can guide you on your own journey of becoming:
Embrace change
Growth never comes in comfort zones. Every time you release an old version of yourself, you make space for a new one.
Allow your identity to shift
Do not hold on to titles too tightly. In one season you may be a student, in another a parent, in another a creator. Outgrowing roles is part of the process.
See challenges as teachers
Failures and setbacks are not dead ends. They are lessons preparing you for the next stage.
Let your style evolve with you
As you change within, allow your wardrobe and presence to change as well. Style is most powerful when it reflects your becoming.
Stay connected to your inner self
Spend time in reflection, prayer or journaling. Becoming is not about adding more, it is about going deeper within.
Dare to dream beyond comfort zones
Your next self is always waiting on the other side of fear.
Celebrate the process, not just the destination
There will always be another mountain to climb. Learn to find joy in the climb itself.
Becoming is never complete. It is a continuous unfolding, a lifelong transformation. Every day is an opportunity to step closer to the higher version of yourself.
Your best is yet to come and it will, because you choose it to be so.
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