What is My Unique Identity?

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

To win in life, you must play to your unique strengths. And one of the most powerful yet underrated tools you have is your personal style. Style is a silent form of influence. It captures attention in a noisy world where attention is currency.

But style is just the surface. There are deeper layers to you — your talents, your experiences, your passions. When you begin peeling back those layers, you discover something more powerful: your unique identity. This is the real you — shaped by where you’ve been, what you’ve overcome, your family, your ambitions, and your journey. That’s where freedom begins.

Think about it. A bird’s identity is flight — you cannot compete with it in the air. In the same way, your uniqueness is your power. Maybe you’re a lawyer with a flair for style, a barber who inspires, an accountant with elegance, or a musician with presence. When you embrace the fullness of who you are — not just what you do, but how you do it — you create a lane that no one else can walk in. You eliminate competition. You attract your tribe. And those who resonate with your message will invest in you because your work is no longer just service — it’s identity-driven impact.

Passion: The Hidden Key to Identity

Your unique identity is buried in your passion. It’s that thing you could talk about all day, what excites you, frustrates you, or makes you lose track of time. Yet many people ignore it, saying, “I don’t know what my passion is.”

But passion leaves clues. What do you spend hours researching on YouTube? What do you bring up in conversations without even trying? What activities make you feel alive, even when no one is watching? That’s passion speaking to you.

For me, the turning point came at a family Christmas party. My cousin, Jide Odukoya, asked me what course I planned to study at university. I said “Medicine and Surgery.” At the time, Jide had just entered the University of Lagos. He had started designing and his mindset had already shifted beyond the four walls of school. He looked at me and screamed: “No! Don’t make that mistake. Follow your passion!”

That was the first time I had ever heard the word “passion.” It planted a seed that kept growing.

Childhood Clues

When I looked back, I realized passion had been with me all along. At age 5, I’d return from church, raise our sitting room table like a pulpit, and preach using a toothbrush as a microphone. At age 7, I begged my cousin to teach me how to knot a tie. From then on, people noticed how well-dressed I was — shirts tucked in, layers on, no matter the heat.

By secondary school, I was known for neatness and confidence. I read the Bible in church, acted in dramas, and preached in front of crowds. I loved the spotlight. Still, when it was time to pick a university course, I was lost — torn between Medicine, Economics, Computer Science. I had no clear direction. Friends even nicknamed me “NFA” — not Nigerian Football Association, but “No Future Ambition.”

While waiting for admission, I worked as a labourer for bricklayers. Even after long, exhausting days, I would starch my shirts and step out in style. My friend Tope Adekanye still jokes that I was always the best-dressed guy in the hood. After three failed attempts at university entrance exams, I finally remembered Jide’s words: Follow your passion.

Passion Is Not Found, It’s Kindled

Discovering passion is like tailoring a bespoke suit — it requires precision, honesty, and courage. Passion rarely strikes like lightning; it’s more like a fire you kindle. It has always been there, waiting for your attention.

At first, I thought having many talents was a curse. Now I see it as a gift. Style became the canvas where I layered all my abilities. It got me noticed before people discovered I could MC, write, or speak. Without attention, talent is limited. Even the best singer struggles if no one is listening.

One framework that helped me decode my identity was Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. He describes SHAPE — five factors that define your purpose.

• S – Spiritual Gifts
  Unique abilities God gives us to serve others. Mine is encouragement. I lift people with words, whether in fashion or in life.

• H – Heart
  What excites you? For me, it’s fashion. No matter what else I do — speaking, writing, hosting — fashion is the thread.

• A – Abilities
  Natural talents. I’m a storyteller. Speaking and writing come naturally, and they’re how I connect.

• P – Personality
  Temperament shapes how you work. I’m an ambivert — people energize me, but I also need solitude. I’m a big-picture thinker who sees patterns.

• E – Experiences
  Our life stories shape our voices. I left home at 17 to figure things out. Every struggle, failure, and breakthrough now fuels how I inspire others.

When I layered my SHAPE with style, I found my unique identity — one that attracts the right people and opportunities.

The Evolution of Passion

Don’t feel guilty if something that once excited you no longer does. Passion evolves. David in the Bible began as a shepherd, became a musician, soldier, and eventually king — all connected to the same calling. The same is true in sports: Lampard, Gerrard, Henry, Ancelotti. They were once players, then coaches, now pundits. The expression changed, but football was always their core.

Your passion will grow with you. The key is to keep showing up.

How to Discover Your Unique Identity

1. Reflect on your earliest memories and consistent interests
   Childhood often holds clues to your gifts.

2. Pay attention to what comes easy
   What others admire in you is usually a natural strength.

3. Listen to trusted feedback
   People who love you often see your gifts before you do.

4. Notice what makes you feel alive
   What activities give you energy, even without applause?

5. Align your talents, your story, and your style
   When all three connect, you step into your lane.

Conclusion: Identity Is Your Superpower

Identity is not just about what you do — it’s about who you are and how you show up. It’s the stage where all your talents shine. The world doesn’t need another copy; it needs the authentic you.

So reflect. Peel back the layers. Pay attention to passion’s whispers. Nurture your gifts, even if it’s just ten minutes a day. Don’t blend in. Don’t bury your uniqueness.

Your identity is your superpower. And when you embrace it, you’ll attract the people, opportunities, and freedom you were designed for.

So, who are you when you peel back the layers? The world is waiting for that person to show up.